Quote of the week

J.K. Rowling wrote these wise words for Dumbledore, her wisest character.

What is Dumbledore saying to Harry Potter about what makes us who we are? What kind of person we want to be in the world? With our loved ones? Our kids?

In our day and age parenting can seem to be a crushing weight, a confusing whirlwind of competing and polarizing viewpoints. The old maps don't work anymore, but what do we do now?

In the midst of this confusion, another wise voice, William Martin (interpreting for ancient philosopher Lao Tzu) tells us:

"Parenting need not be a burden,

one more thing you have to do

and don't do well enough"

Instead, for today, I want to encourage you: don't worry so much about how perfectly you're parenting, how well honed your parenting abilities are. Let go of the anxiety, the guilt, the confusion.

Just try to chose,

and choose again,

and choose again, to:

• let go of the outcomes you want for your child.

• allow space for all the feelings to be felt.

• set aside your agenda.

Today, make a simple choice. Throw caution to the wind, take a big risk. Today really try to fully understand where your child is coming from.

Your child will feel the intention behind your choice to listen to her. She will feel there is someone on her side. She will ultimately be more open to listening to you, to your agenda for her.

"A problem is not an interruption

to a serene and happy life.

A problem is an ordinary part

of such a life.

Effort is not required.

If you pay calm attention,

solutions appear naturally."

Today, choose empathy. Pay calm attention to the big feelings. Walk in you child's shoes for a few minutes. They're much smaller than you're used to, they might squeeze your toes together, but I promise you, you won't regret it.

With so much love,

Vanessa