How to say the exact right thing

Hello from my home to yours- how are you? Where do you find yourself on your journey today? Are you in the daily grind? Are you smooth sailing? Have you hit a rough patch?

In my home we've been in that last one lately- a rough patch.

So this past Tuesday evening I made a fire in our outdoor fire pit... even if our rough patch is not completely over I wanted to celebrate this little season of growth and learning we've had in the face of challenges.

We sat around the fire, we wrote on little pieces of paper the things we wanted to release and let the fire burn them up. Then we went around and reflected on each other's strengths, growth, and fortitude- and made delicious s'mores (of course)!

But let me start at the beginning...

When these rough patches happen they seem to come from out of nowhere. I've used this term before- we get blindsided. It can pull the rug out from under us. All of a sudden we're walking on shaky ground, and completely unprepared to handle what's coming at us.

...except we're not.

With The Heart People to guide us we are in a perfect position to handle anything that comes our way. This is because, unlike other parenting strategies that emphasize troubleshooting techniques and finding solutions for you, The Heart People's three steps of compassionate parenting are anchored in relationship. From this place together we can find the perfect solutions to the unique set of challenges.

Because here's the thing, we're just never going to be prepared with the exact right thing to say,

at the exact right moment,

to the exact situation our child is going through.

But when we're calm...

our curiosity

our empathy

our desire to understand our child's perspective

...will guide us towards all the solutions we could ever think of!

And before we know it... we're saying the exact right thing!

It really is that simple (which helps a lot when we're going through it because it seems anything but!)

Oh, and don't forget to celebrate! To stop and see the strengths. So go ahead, fire it up!

With so much love,

Vanessa

PS. I've included the wise words of my favorite parenting author who writes about this very practice. I hope you find as much support from it as I do.

"The confident parent is not the one who knows how to parent in every situation. The confident parent is the one who knows that knowledge will emerge in the midst of a situation.

The parent's mind is free of complications, to respond without preconceptions. This parent will always act rightly."

-William Martin

xo

V.